Well here I am back at the keyboard, blogging as Fifi again. I’ve missed it. It’s not like I’ve had nothing to write about, I’ve just had something blocking the flow.
Was it heartache? Maybe.
Was it embarrassment at pouring my heart out? Maybe.
Fear of being judged? Maybe.
I’m laying on my bed watching a re-run of Australia’s first Bachelorette reality TV show, moaning to a very drunk friend in Chile, about how I want to write again (he sent me the artwork above. Some street art he found in Santiago and made him think of me..for some reason). Our conversation went a bit like this…
Well actually it was JUST like that.
So, it’s at the part when the guys jump off the cliff. The one guy doesn’t want to. She cries, he cries. Fuck this shit, now I’m crying. He goes back and tells all the other guys how wonderful she is. This is WAY different to the Bachelor. These guys seem so much more sincere and lovely than the women who were looking for love on that show. They talk about the Bachelorette’s qualities, right from the start. Yeah there’s some talk of how gorgeous she is but it’s mostly about HER as a person. It’s a refreshing change, and it makes me cry.
How lovely would it be to have someone talk about me like that? I don’t mean friends. I know my friends love me..but..ya know…?
I’m a romantic tragic who can wear her heart on her sleeve to everyone she meets but not tell the guy she likes, how she feels. I need to work on that. Oh wait… as I’ve been sitting here the Bachelorette has said she wears her heart on her sleeve TWICE to Drew, the ‘no jump’ guy. Well take THIS Miss. I have one for reals.
So FUCK the Bachelorette. It just makes me think there ARE nice guys out there. Internet dating sites around Australia will be raking in a fortune over the next however many weeks the show runs for, and I know I’ll get sucked in too. But, my plans are to date after Christmas, and let’s see how long I can stick to my plan.
In the meantime I shall re-familiarise myself with writing by recounting the MANY tragic dating experiences I’ve had over the last 4 years I’ve not been blogging.
Join me won’t you?